Daily Archives: July 31, 2011

The Only One You Thought to Save

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A glance over the edge,
Shards of shattered below her
And bodies above her,
And all around her.
Her feet lose balance,
Her arms stretch
A bird without wings to the eye
A desire to catch up with the sky
But she falls.

Saved by the noose you tied
Around her pale white throat.
She lives.
She struggles and fights the bindings
And thrashes until she slows
And falls
And is gone
But never forgets.

I trek through a forest
Of hanging girls on your ropes
Blood staining white shirts
Above their hearts
And my hand covers my own
With fingers that just grace
The blood from mine.

Heartbroken too
But the only one you thought
To save.

A bit depressing, I realize, but it’s not as bad as it seems. It doesn’t have anything to do with a murderer pushing girls out of trees so that they can hang. It’s a metaphor describing the relationship between a boy who is caught in a web of girls who would do anything for his love, and the only girl he has any eyes for. The narrator has vowed for years that she would never falter, that she would never fall in love with him. However, some promises are impossible to keep, and she falls for him despite herself. Luckily for her, he loves her as well.

And before you ask, yes, I do relate to the narrator. Write what you know, the say.

This is mostly just an experiment with a poem without rhyme, to see how well I like it. What do you think?

And to the boy whom this poem is about: please stop blaming yourself. You’ve hurt yourself enough as it is. I love you with everything I am, and you don’t deserve to hate yourself.

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Between the Lines

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Dearest Love of my Life,

I had wanted only the chance to tell you
(all of the things that I can never say)
you’ve given me everything I could ever ask.

(and I beg no one ever steal that away)

I had asked God in prayers to save me,
(while I was left in pieces on the floor)
He sent you to me instead.

(and I never could have asked for more)

I have loved with love that never should have mattered,
(the boy who yet suffered me in silence)
it evaporated when you walked in my life.

(and I was struck with bitter ambivalence)

I began to think that maybe I was worth something,
(you taught me that I still had a smile)
you taught me how to love myself without a toll or price.

(you taught me to live life with soul worthwhile)

I built up the hope that I might have you forever
(though I’m still petrified that you might walk away)
and I still yearn for a happily ever after.

(yet I doubt highly that I’ll ever see that day)

I would give up my life and soul and everything else
(my heart, my love, is already only yours)
to remain enveloped safely in your arms, for eternity.

(but I’m scared that future is a little more obscure)

You whisper in my ear that you love me
(and I relish every time you say my name)
and yet I know that you would shout it to the world.

(though I’d rather like that small secret to remain)

I wish there was some way that I could show you
(because you are blind when the subject is your heart)

all the things that you’ve always done for me.

(all the things that somehow set you apart)

Remember that kiss upon my forehead?
(the one you place moments before you made your leave)
You promised that you would always protect me.

(but you’ve no idea how your leaving destroyed me)

And when you returned, you made sure all my dreams came true
(despite the girl that you were supposed to love instead)
and do so still to this very day.

(and finally you kept true the words that you said)

So this is a letter written to thank you
(though your eyes may never see the words I write)
for everything that you’ve done to save me.

(to tell the truth, you saved my life)

I cannot express in words how strongly I must love you
(with all my heart, and with everything I have)
nor could anybody else woth all the words in the world.

(is that really so bad?)

I suppose I must hope that you will discover it on your own
(though I am certain beyond words you never will)
and dream of the day that your vision clears.

(and untill then, I shall love you ever still)

And with that I leave you with a kiss that you can’t feel
(and a useless page of beyond useless words)
because I am so many miles away.

(it feels like farther than the distance of the world)

Love Forever-Always,
~The Tulip Girl

Everything of any importance is written between the lines and in the wonderful language of subtlety. That’s pretty much all this poem is. Anything in italics is something the author didn’t feel she could saw aloud. They are the words hidden between the words she feels comfortable saying instead. It’s when you find someone who can read between your lines that you know you’ve finally found someone who truly knows you. In a lifetime, you will have many friends. Several best friends. A select few true friends. And one true love–a soulmate, who can read between the lines.