Astray

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There were rains that fell upon a heavy ocean,
and the tides that came and washed away the shore.
In the blinding moment of my desperation,
I allowed the one I asked to ask for more.

The clouds above me burst and shed tears of their sorrow,
begging God above to pretend he didn’t see.
And when sorrow became hopelessness, and disheartened what became my bliss,
I was left to roam alone with only me.

As if it mattered that the world revolved around her
as if I’d bow to every need she asked me to.
The days grew longer and I felt myself slipping down
beneath regret and swollen pits of broken rue.

In the morning when the sun rose to beseech me,
I felt no warmth beneath the grey silver linings there.
I knew no heart would see why I have chosen these paths,
I knew she’d never let it go, never forgive me.

But she asked me to choose her over my heart’s love,
“friends are first” she said in words not many still.
“If a friend,” I said, “You’d be happy that I love him,
you could be a friend, but I know that you never will.”

And dawn became the day, and day fell to dusk
when shadows stalked me along road I’d never tread.
Before the night, I never knew the truth of lonesome
and even then I felt a happiness instead.

When the rain washed away with tides never ending,
I felt a call I’d never felt in all my days.
The words that spoke to me said she would never see it,
the words told me that she had been left astray.

Maybe she loved in the ways I can’t imagine,
but I know that she never saw the way I do.
A moment changed everything when he told me his story,
because he never told the other the whole truth.

So I must let her go, even though it may hurt me.
It would be best for all others still involved.
I wonder sometimes if this could have ended better,
but I know that my heart stays well resolved.

In the tides that fall, the moon that crashes onward,
I let my soul live on for many other days.
Maybe I’m the one who let this fall to pieces,
perhaps it’s me, and I’m the one to blame.

Yet more musings from late-night escapades. It’s the story of my former best friend and the slow, inevitable decay of our friendship. The story pretty much speaks for itself. The narrator doesn’t come across with as much remorse as I may feel towards the situation, but I wrote it in a more angry state of mind than anything else.

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About Mattie J.

My name is Mattie J. Hamilton, and I am seventeen years old. I live in a cute little house in the country in Southern Indiana, and have lived there my entire life. I self-published two books of poetry a few years ago, but I much prefer writing fiction of poetry, journalism, or any other sort of writing. I'm somewhat new to the blogging world, and I may come off as a bit of an ameteur, but hey, I am an ameteur. Proud of it. After all, I'm just a kid, and I have plenty of time to learn.

9 responses »

  1. I liked the poem. There was a lot going on there. I have a question, are the following two lines a reference to Robert Frost’s “Nothing Gold Can Stay”?….”And dawn became the day, and day fell to dusk/ when shadows stalked me along road I’d never tread.”

    • Honestly, the only poem I’d read of Robert Frost before this comment was “The Road Not Taken.” I ended up looking up the poem you were talking about, and the lines are similar, but I didn’t mean for them to be. That’s just the way they came out of my mind, so that’s how they transferred to the keyboard.

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