Tag Archives: boyfriend

Perfect

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In a translucent world,
tattered by shimmering expectations
glittering too cold, too sapphire sought.
Another devastation wrought.
Believe in more than what could be,
and yet you are perfect to me.

Destroy another, if you will.
But if you please, I see no ill.
Flawed to a fault inside your eyes,
but through my gaze, I spy another life.
Rose-shaded tint, perhaps this is so,
but need you more than tinted love?
If say I, believe I am true,
there is no man more perfect than you.

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Surviving the Expiration

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Sometimes I wonder how I sleep,
with every moment captured in a dream,
haunting, tainting, captivating me.
Here I am.

Here we are.

I look upon you,
curious eyes.
How have we come to this?

I thank my God every day of my life,
whispered prayers He answered,
caught guilty in my selfish words,
but rewarded despite.

Might you take a moment to understand
that somehow you have taken me by the hand,
lead me to a different land.
Foreign veils of a new world.
How have we become those two?

They point when they see us.
We are privileged,
envied.
They are stolen by retracing steps,
and angry.

And riots of outrage,
must there be such turmoil?
We’ve not asked an opinion,
nor other emotions.
Must there be burning thatched houses
and poisoned wells
and cliff-diving resolutes
with frightful, furious spells?

Must there be a moment too soon,
where I may turn again to you?
May I not be always whole?

And on tongues sharp
with silver,
forks pitched in the air.
Why should this be so treacherous?
Why should anyone else care?

They told me
that this was temporary,
that you were lost to me.
That I shouldn’t breathe
a word more of your love for me.
They gave me a date
one, two, three, and more.
A date we would be torn apart,
and more broken before.

They spat curses of a silly monotony,
tedious to indifferent ears.
But how, why?
Perhaps, they’ve still not
lost those years.

And yet, gnawing at the back of my mind,
tearing slivers of my heart,
raking me with transparent claws,
their dates tore me apart.

They set fire to our hopes,
shot poison into dreams,
sent chills of nightmares into my darkness
and tortured me in my sleep.
Blinking lights
and heartbeat cry,
the thuds of a frightened child.
I listened, just so, tentatively
while they bribed, deceived, beguiled.

Am I holding on too tightly?
I wondered.

But this time, I’m looking up
face into the horizon.
My eyes cast amber by fires and pyres,
my skin dyed black by the ash.
But this time I’m vulnerable
and I’ll give it all,
if you just hold me still.

We outlasted the fire,
we cured the poison.
We kept strong as diamonds in coal
outlasted the words, and fought bold.
Here we are, less lost, less cold.

After months of preying plays on words
torturing to exasperation,
after they tore me into tiny pieces of myself,
we survived the expiration.

And now that I think of it,
we troubled not.

A Siren Song

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She stray along shorelines,
took perch upon stones.
Felt the warmth of the sun
bear down on her soul.
Stole strings of a harp song,
plucked chords of heart and home.
Spent evenings with men
and each morning alone.

Destroyed mentioned love songs,
created bad dreams.
Nightmares and sorrow
that came of the sea.
Drowned in the tears
wept by fish of the bay,
the men fall to blunder
and drifting away.

She captured forbidden
and vows beyond scare.
All but forgiven,
and lost beyond care.
Heartless beyond words
and guiltless beyond loss.
Had given her whole heart
for a treacherous cost.

And so tortured and beaten
by heart and by theft,
and swollen with sorrow
of her love lost bereft.
To compensate for her forgotten,
a wail like the wind,
and lured into darkness,
the legs of many men.

And drowned in the shallow
of waters inches high,
caught by the gaze
of a siren’s blind eye.
Captured by the song
that so entranced them,
and now and forever,
she will thieve them again.

Smile

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Smile.

Because you are so much more.

You are
the air that I breathe, the breath that kept me alive.
You are
the silence in the crowd, the sole voice in my mind.
You are
the hope in lost causes, the reasons to tread on.
You are
the memories in my thoughts every moment you’re gone.

You are so much more to the world.

You are
the only one who still cares for everyone else.
You are
the only one in the world who doesn’t live for himself.
You are
a light in the void, beyond a reason or doubt.
You are
everything to anyone who still sees you now.

But please.
Remain my everything instead?

Smile.

Because I love you.

Astray

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There were rains that fell upon a heavy ocean,
and the tides that came and washed away the shore.
In the blinding moment of my desperation,
I allowed the one I asked to ask for more.

The clouds above me burst and shed tears of their sorrow,
begging God above to pretend he didn’t see.
And when sorrow became hopelessness, and disheartened what became my bliss,
I was left to roam alone with only me.

As if it mattered that the world revolved around her
as if I’d bow to every need she asked me to.
The days grew longer and I felt myself slipping down
beneath regret and swollen pits of broken rue.

In the morning when the sun rose to beseech me,
I felt no warmth beneath the grey silver linings there.
I knew no heart would see why I have chosen these paths,
I knew she’d never let it go, never forgive me.

But she asked me to choose her over my heart’s love,
“friends are first” she said in words not many still.
“If a friend,” I said, “You’d be happy that I love him,
you could be a friend, but I know that you never will.”

And dawn became the day, and day fell to dusk
when shadows stalked me along road I’d never tread.
Before the night, I never knew the truth of lonesome
and even then I felt a happiness instead.

When the rain washed away with tides never ending,
I felt a call I’d never felt in all my days.
The words that spoke to me said she would never see it,
the words told me that she had been left astray.

Maybe she loved in the ways I can’t imagine,
but I know that she never saw the way I do.
A moment changed everything when he told me his story,
because he never told the other the whole truth.

So I must let her go, even though it may hurt me.
It would be best for all others still involved.
I wonder sometimes if this could have ended better,
but I know that my heart stays well resolved.

In the tides that fall, the moon that crashes onward,
I let my soul live on for many other days.
Maybe I’m the one who let this fall to pieces,
perhaps it’s me, and I’m the one to blame.

Yet more musings from late-night escapades. It’s the story of my former best friend and the slow, inevitable decay of our friendship. The story pretty much speaks for itself. The narrator doesn’t come across with as much remorse as I may feel towards the situation, but I wrote it in a more angry state of mind than anything else.