Tag Archives: teenagers

I’m Back!

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I must apologize from the bottom of my heart. I have neglected this blog for several months now. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve neglected just about everything but my social life the past couple of months. That doesn’t make it better, I know. But I’m going to start making time for this, I promise.

I must switch domains for the time being. I actually pay for the domain http://www.behindcerulean.com whereas this one is free. I’ll be switching over to that site instead, but beginning New Years, I’ll try my best to resume writing a couple times a week.

For those of you who are still following, thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me. Happy Holidays, merry Christmaquanzakah, and I’ll see you after New Years!

If Only, Though I Love You

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I fought the moment I lost inhibition,
Trapped behind the bars of intuition,
I watched you as you tread on path so broken
and left with nothing there when you were open.
Might be I travelled light, without much burden,
saw you in my path but let you stay hidden.
Forgot that you were there until you left me,
then noticed something wrong when you went missing.

If only as a kid I’d let myself see you,
if only in those days I saw what you’d been through,
there’d be so many less scars and memories to haunt you.
Here I was my love, I didn’t protect you.
If only as a kid, you’d seen my heartache,
if only you could have stopped my senseless heartbreak.
If only we were first, just us at daybreak.
If only we were kids before the hard tolls we must take.

I wish I had seen you before I knew him,
I wish you had seen me before you saw them.
I wish that we were us before we were now and then.
I wish we knew before that we were destined.
If only as children we flew kites above us,
if only as children we knew what love was.
If only as so young we sang the song love
and gave then all we had lain there before us.

But I ask far too much, I’m happy with you.
Would give up everything for this dream come true,
Don’t ever let me wake if I am not beside you
Because a love with you is better than love in youth.

Freefalling

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Fanned out fingers catching breezes,
a dozen thoughts provoked without valid reasons.
Tresses of hair tousled by seasons;
as if I could forget you are my heart.

A glance over the edge of a skyscraper,
the silent, lost eyes of a dreaming gazer;
tossed by the wind as light as paper.
Distractions capture dreamers like a web.

And chained by eerie obligation
held unreliably by justification.
Perhaps not more than sickly-sweet sedation
and a fall into the sky.

Thrown beyond all inhibition,
hair thrown back in new disposition.
Eyes stitched shut, wary elation;
will a savior come cease this fall?

A parachute cut short of strings,
a struggle with more mortal things–
wed to Grim with eternal rings,
but forever alive in spirit, in soul.

A fool, trapped blind in swollen bliss.
Steady clouds that shed a mist.
Forgotten sorrow traded for happiness,
until eyes open once more.

Pavement spread like grain and grass,
unspoken truce of shattered glass
and shattered bone may come to pass.
Closer, closer, meters away.

Heart speeds, jumps out of my chest,
eyes washed white, and black, the rest.
Moon cataracts, for which I’m blessed;
that I might not watch myself crumple.

Arms thrown out, entrapping me.
And from the ground, only a couple feet,
but in his arms where I’m supposed to be–
my Superman.

Loving You

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Those other girls;
they all long to kiss you,
pray to be with you;
they all love to love you.

And I love to love you
but much more than they do
because I simply love you
and I still loved you
even when loving you

broke my heart.

Linger

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The way we kiss when caught in traffic,
the stolen moments I keep captive;
in memories, in soft-spoken dreams
come true.

The heart you hold in open hands,
the moment you start to understand,
I’ve never known a love
quite like for you.

The secrets we hold close between,
my soul for you, your heart for me.
A smile shared in silent-held
happiness.

The smell of you upon my clothes,
the parts of you that no one knows.
No other woman could
ever feel such bliss.

The moments spent in a little world
made only for us, by only word,
no intruders,
no one left to care.

The moments just after you have gone,
the lingered essence that still lives on.
And I desperately wish
that you could still be there.

Silent Emeralds

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Cerulean turned grey
souls of old, but washed away.
And innocence lost to the day
wrought destiny
and fate.

And child again
as emerald trickles in
spent in black and in grey,
wise of old, washed away.

But masked with a smile
small and futile–
but at least for awhile,
emerald appears grey;

until confidence washed away.

Alright, alright. Last post of the day. I’ve been in a bit of a writing mood lately. I think my writer’s block is finally starting to let up, thankfully.

This one’s slightly more vague than the others; it refers to the green-eyed monster in everyone. I’m not going to lie, I’m a jealous person. But I’m really good at hiding it. However, consequently, envy eats away at me much more than it would others, simply because I am quiet and subtle about it. I don’t speak anything of my jealousy, to anyone, and, like anger, it tends to build up.

But, because envy is not only unflattering on everyone, it is also a sin, I would rather bottle it up and express it in poetry than express it in words to those I love too much to alienate with it.

A Siren Song

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She stray along shorelines,
took perch upon stones.
Felt the warmth of the sun
bear down on her soul.
Stole strings of a harp song,
plucked chords of heart and home.
Spent evenings with men
and each morning alone.

Destroyed mentioned love songs,
created bad dreams.
Nightmares and sorrow
that came of the sea.
Drowned in the tears
wept by fish of the bay,
the men fall to blunder
and drifting away.

She captured forbidden
and vows beyond scare.
All but forgiven,
and lost beyond care.
Heartless beyond words
and guiltless beyond loss.
Had given her whole heart
for a treacherous cost.

And so tortured and beaten
by heart and by theft,
and swollen with sorrow
of her love lost bereft.
To compensate for her forgotten,
a wail like the wind,
and lured into darkness,
the legs of many men.

And drowned in the shallow
of waters inches high,
caught by the gaze
of a siren’s blind eye.
Captured by the song
that so entranced them,
and now and forever,
she will thieve them again.